Ep #15: All Talk, No Action

There is absolutely nothing more satisfying than having a goal you care about and achieving it! As a goal-oriented (and action-oriented) person, I was curious as to why so many people struggle to follow-through with their personal goals. After much observation, I share my findings with you today. If you have lots of ideas, goals and dreams, but can’t’ get yourself to ACT on them, this episode is for you!

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

  • The TOP reasons why people struggle to follow-through on their goals
  • What to do if it’s been so long since you set and achieved an exciting goal
  • What the “all talk, no action” mentality looks like. Are you guilty of it?
  • How to overcome this mentality once and for all and become the person who makes shit happen!


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TRANSCRIPT

Welcome back everybody. Thanks so much for being here as always.

Today’s episode is titled, All Talk, No Action. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I am an action-oriented person. When I say I’m going to do something, I do it. Whether that means creating an entire online course from start to finish, starting a podcast, or decluttering my apartment from ceiling to floor on a Sunday morning.

There is absolutely nothing more satisfying than having a goal that you care about (that’s both exciting and challenging at the same time) and following through with it. That is true, genuine fulfillment you guys!

Think about a time in your own life that you set an inspiring goal and you committed to it. You put your time and your energy and focus into it, until you achieved your result. Do you remember how gratifying that experience was?

Or has it been so long since you set a specific goal for yourself? Or maybe you set a goal, but didn’t follow through?

There are so many people in this world that have ideas and goals and big dreams, yet don’t ever take the necessary action to see them through.

And actually, not too long ago, I realized that I was surrounded by these types of people (the all talk, no action mentality). And although I felt weighed down by this energy at times, I also decided to use it as an opportunity to be curious– and try to understand why these people weren’t doing the things they were saying that they really wanted to do.

So that’s what I want to talk to you about today.

One of my biggest observations, the MORE somebody talks about their ideas and dreams, the less apt they are to take the first step. And that’s because when we constantly talk about our ideas with other people (our friends, our boyfriends, our therapists, the UPS guy, whoever is willing to listen), it tricks our brain into thinking that we’re taking action.

And that’s because the endorphin rush we get when we bask in an idea or a dream is the same exact rush we get when we actually achieve it. So you want to be careful that you’re not talking your dreams to death. Because they’re not actually alive and kicking if it’s just words.

And I’m conscious of this when I’m setting goals and wanting to bring an idea to life. For example, when I had the idea to create my online course, I didn’t tell anybody. The only other person that knew was Mr. Nathan Rightnour because we came up with the idea together. I did tell a few other people once I actually got started and the ball was rolling. And the only reason I chose to tell a few of my close LA friends, is because I was so MIA on the weekends and kept turning down invitations to hang out. I of course didn’t want them to think I was avoiding them, and instead realize why I’ve been so busy and why I’ll probably be busy for a while. 

So I just encourage you to be cautious of this.

Now on the flip side of that, it can be very beneficial to let a close friend or someone else you trust in on what you’re excited about.

Because first of all, it’s natural to want to tell others about things we’re excited about. Right? OMG I just went on the best date of my life. OMG, I just read this awesome book, you’ve gotta read it.

It’s human nature.

So it’s OK, to let somebody know…

“Oh my gosh, Rachel Ray is doing a 21-day cooking challenge next month. I really want to do it. I’m excited to learn new recipes and strengthen my kitchen skills.”

P.s. I have no idea if she or any other celebrity chefs do things like this, but if so, sign me up!

Any who, having that external support and encouragement from another person can be very beneficial, because not only can they be a source of support and encouragement, but they can also help hold you accountable.

Hey girl, how’s the challenge going? Did you complete the first week? You’re doing a great job. 

My advice there is to just choose who you confide in–wisely. Somebody who’s going to push you and help you live up to your full potential. Not somebody who enables old, tired patterns because they want to keep you from growing for their own selfish reasons.My second observation with people who are all talk, no action is that they’ve never followed through with a goal in the past or it’s been so long that they don’t even remember what the experience is like.

Some people identify themselves as “somebody who never follows-through.” And if you listened to episode 2, “Who Do You Want To Be? Break Negative Cycles for Good,” you know that when we’re certain about our identity, our actions will prove that identity true. In other words as long as I identify myself as ‘somebody who always falls short of their goals’– no matter what action or how much action I try to take, it won’t work. Because in my mind, I am certain that I’m the girl who doesn’t follow through. I’ve always been that girl. That’s just who I am. I’m not a very motivated person. People don’t expect much from me.

Well guess what? That’s the reality I’m going to keep creating for myself.

So if this rings true for you, you MUST first change how you view yourself. For example, I identify myself as somebody who makes shit happen.

I wasn’t born that way. I didn’t come into this world, shouting I make shit happen. No.

It’s because I’ve created evidence throughout my life to prove that true.

So if you’re a person whose never followed through (which PS, I call BS on that. Even if you have to trace back to the 4th grade when you spent an entire week practicing for the talent show and killed it up on stage as you performed the Spice Girls, that’s you following through right?) But, if it’s been that long, there needs to first and foremost be a shift in your thinking about who you are and what you’re capable of.

For example, using the power of self-talk and repeating: I am a person who makes shit happen. I get results. When I say I’m going to do something, I do it. I am the queen of putting my mind to something and getting it done.

And you say this to yourself in the morning, while you’re driving, while you’re standing in front of the mirror.

And then once your head is on straight, THEN you take action from THIS place and start to create the evidence for why it’s true.

And then you do it again and again and again.

Now, if this resonates with you and you’re raising your hand, like YUP, that’s 100% me, my advice to you is to start small. Start with a very small goal. You still want to choose a goal that excites you, but the most important thing is to complete it from start to finish so that you can begin to create the evidence of why YOU are somebody who makes things happen.

For example if you dream of starting a blog, set a goal to come up with 5 topic ideas this week. Just the titles and that’s it. If you want to start working out, set a goal to go to the gym just one day this week. Make your goal eye rollingly easy in the beginning and then manage your mind accordingly so that you get it working with you to finish out the goal.

Now, the umbrella that the all talk, no action mentality sits under is of course FEAR. It’s always fear you guys. The fear of failing at this thing that you care about or the fear or what other people will think if you do this thing.

This is just another reason why mind management is SO critical my friends. Learning to manage your own mind is the foundation that ALL dreams are built on. There’s no way around it.

You MUST control your own mind, instead of allowing it to control you. It’s a fact of life.

Because, on the 7th day of your challenge, when your ego is saying, “This is too tough for you to finish. You’re not strong enough to continue. Let’s just call it a day and throw in the towel.”

If you are not conscious to those thoughts, your ego (that voice that’s doing everything in its power to prevent you from growing) will win.

You must talk back to it. And say: Listen, I know this is challenging, but I can do this because guess what? I am strong enough. I am smart enough. I am capable of getting to the finish line. I’m going to prove to myself that I can do this. I’m staying true to my commitment. Because I am somebody who follows through.

That self-talk is so important in the process of following through.

My next observation was the lack of self-discipline. The amount of buffering and procrastination is at an all-time high when we’re in the all talk, no action mode.

It’s like we THINK, OK, I know what I want to achieve. It’s super cool and I feel really inspired by it. I’ve got all the endorphins flowing through my body. This is an awesome idea. Woohoo!

But as soon as the opportunity to do something else is presented to us, we immediately attach ourselves to that. Whether that be Netflix, drinking, shopping, doing errands, scrolling through Instagram, etc.

And those are just cop-outs. They’re poor excuses for not getting down and dirty with our biggest passions. Why? Because they feel “safer” and they require less “work” on our part.

But then what happens, is not only have we lost another day, we start losing the momentum. And we continue to seek that high and those endorphins from these other sources that feel more instant and less scary.

And then days go by, weeks, months and we’re like hmmmm, I haven’t accomplished much of anything this year.

I talked a lot about this in episode #9, Why I’m So Motivated and How You Can Be Too. We find the motivation to achieve our goals by actually sitting our ass down and getting to work. And for some reason, that first step is the hardest for people. There’s so much resistance!

So just paying attention and noticing when you’re resisting is the first step to taking the first step.

This is why for me, when I wake up in the morning, I don’t have a morning routine that’s made up of a laundry list of items.

Do you want to know what my “morning routine” looks like?

I wake up, sometimes by an alarm clock, other days I’ll let my body wake up on its own time. I get up, chug the glass of water that’s next to my bed, go to the bathroom (naturally). I come back into my bedroom and I make my bed. I go into the kitchen, make my coffee, walk over to my desk, open up my laptop and start working. That’s it. So by the time I open my eyes and start typing or recording or whatever my task is that day, my “morning routine” is about 10min and it’s as basic as it gets.

I don’t wake up and scroll through social media as I lay in bed for twenty minutes. I don’t turn on the TV and watch the Today Show for an hour. I don’t even shower you guys. Because I KNOW that in order to accomplish my goals for that day is to just START! And the quicker that I can sit my ass down and just GO, the less tempted I am by other things– other things that will ultimately distract me. Because believe me, I know what that spiraling effect looks like and feels like…

You may not know this, but I FAST pretty much every single morning. I concentrate way better on an empty stomach. So I don’t make breakfast until about noon– on average, sometimes it’s a little later. Because when I finally make breakfast and I’m finished eating, it is that much harder for me to resume working. I make breakfast, I clean up, I’m like Oh I should probably shower now and brush my teeth, and then I’m like OH, I haven’t checked Instagram all day, let me go on there quickly (30 minutes later), hmmm let me pay this bill really quickly, let me vacuum this room. Like seriously, all these other things seem more appealing than just leaning into my bigger goal for that day

So I know how tempting buffering is. I battle with it every day at around 12:30pm. However, because I’m conscious to it, I’m able to reel myself back in sooner than later and REFOCUS.

So I’m not saying you have to fast in the morning if that’s not your thing, I just advise you to keep your morning routine (whether that be on the weekdays if you have that flexibility or the weekends) as simple and as intentional as possible. Because once you get sucked into that first distraction, it’s like a vortex.

And my last observation…is excuses and blame. Often times, we blame things outside of us for why we aren’t winning. Why we haven’t done the things we said we were going to do.

I don’t have enough time. It’s just not the right time. My job sucks all my energy out of me. I have too many responsibilities. I don’t feel great. I just gotta do this, that and the other and THEN I’ll focus on it.

I mean this just leaves us 100% powerless. When we use excuses and blame, we sit back and we wait for our circumstances to change. And we wait and we wait and we wait. And then again, days, weeks, months, years go by. And it’s still not the right time. I’m still too busy. I’m still too tired and don’t feel well. I still have too many responsibilities.

This kind of thinking never ever leads to action. Ever!

You must drop the blame game and take full responsibility for your choices. Nobody is going to come knocking on your door and say Congrats, you just completed that book you’ve always wanted to write by waking up every morning and doing nothing. Your results and your successes are in your control. It’s up to you to work through your own resistance and fears so that you can just put your ass where your heart is once and for all. The only permission you need to get started and get that thing done (that thing you’ve wanted to do for SO long, that thing that you’ve been talking about for SO long) is your own!

That is for today you guys. Thank you so much for listening as always. I’ll see you next time! 

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