Ep #3: How to Achieve Any Goal

I break down the formula for success in just two simple parts. I absolutely love teaching this concept because A.) it works and B.) it cuts through all the muddle. This formula is fool-proof and used by every successful person, whether they realize it or not!

Also, I share one of my biggest accomplishments growing up 🙂

Do you have a goal in mind? Let’s get it done my friend. No more excuses.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

  • How to achieve any and all goals with two key steps
  • The #1 reason people fail to achieve their goals
  • How to adopt a straightforward approach (and mindset) to achieving a goal

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TRANSCRIPT

Welcome back everybody. Thanks so much for being here as always.

Today’s episode is titled, “How To Achieve Any Goal.”

Now, depending on your headspace, you might think that this topic sounds very broad or that it sounds very basic.

Well, today I am shooting for the latter.

I’m going to break down the formula for success in just two simple parts. And I’m excited about it because this simple A + B = C equation is one of my favorite concepts to teach. And that’s because…

  1. It works. and…
  2. It cuts through all the muddle

At the end of the day, the way in which to achieve a goal from start to finish is actually really straight-forward. And you either have these two critical elements to see your goal through or you don’t. Point blank.

One way I like to look at it…is if you think about people who want to lose weight.

There are so many different diets out there– Atkins, south beach, paleo, weight watchers, Jenny Craig, vegan, vegetarian, the list goes on and on. And then there’s a hundred different exercise regimens– running, cardio, boxing, CrossFit, yoga, Pilates, spin, and the list goes on and on.

But when you break down the formula to losing weight (the A + B = C equation)– it’s as simple (and I say simple, not easy) as burning more calories than you eat in a day, right?

It’s not rocket science.

Scientists and doctors already know how our bodies work and how our metabolisms work and how we store fat and how we lose fat.

All the diets and exercises out there are just different approaches, taught by different instructors. But they’re all essentially following the same basic formula for losing weight.

So the same way that science already knows how our bodies work, is the same way that science knows how our minds work, and how they work in relation to achieving the things we want.

Now of course losing weight is in itself a goal that some people want to achieve. So if you’re listening and losing weight is your goal, I’m going to break it down even further for you. Because your weight loss goal sits underneath the umbrella of this general goal setting formula.

In other words, a lot of people have the same goal– to lose X amount of weight. Yet why do some people achieve this goal and others do not?

Because again, we already know exactly how to do it…we must burn more calories than we eat in a day?

People aren’t out there eating greens and running on the treadmill to figure out what causes weight to come off of our bodies, we already know the HOW.

The bigger question is why are some people exercising every day without a problem and others have a hard time getting to the gym? Why do some people consistently eat healthier and others fall off the wagon?

It’s because they’re missing one of the two critical elements for success.

And I should preface by saying that this episode is not specifically for people with a weight loss goal. Maybe your goal is to get a promotion, run your first marathon, start your own business, become valedictorian of your class)…whatever it may be, it all falls under the umbrella of this 2-part formula of how to achieve a goal.

Now before we jump in, a very quick disclaimer. I’m going into this episode, assuming that you already have a goal in mind. If you do not have a specific goal, I highly encourage you to take the time and figure out what’s really important to you…what is something that at the thought of accomplishing it sounds exciting.

For example, if you love painting, maybe it’s to complete a series of paintings for that exhibit early next year?

Think about what you care about. What do you feel intrinsically motivated to do that will play a big role in your personal growth?

Once you have this goal in mind (and better yet on paper– write it down, make it happen), the very first critical ingredient for success, is to have an incredible deep hunger for this thing that you want. To have an insanely strong desire to achieve it.

This is really important you guys.

There’s a huge difference between having a crazy obsessed goal and having these loose, wobbly wants in life.

We’re human and we have these big and small desires every day. Oooh I want a pretty website like that one, I want to start my own blog, I want to make more money.

Most of us carry around our wants, in this very casual manner.

Yea, that would be nice– to do that thing.

 Or

It would be pretty cool– if that happened, if I could do that.

Ya know what I mean? So many of us do that…where we have these fleeting ideas and fantasized desires, that never really move past a mere wish. Right?

And that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a goal with a strong intention behind it. An intention that’s present because your craving for the achievement of this goal is so powerful.

Not just a “this is something I’d like to see happen,” but rather “I want this so badly for myself that I refuse to back down from it.”

And I want you to think about that for a second. Can you think back to a time when you wanted something so badly that there was no empty space in between you and the finish line?

I’m not asking it to think of something as big as winning the Nobel Peace Prize here. It can be as minute as wanting a pair of shoes…where let’s say I see a pair of shoes that I absolutely love and I’m obsessed with and I want so badly and I feel like I have to have these shoes in my life. But the store doesn’t have my size. So then I get online and I google like a crazy person and see that they’re sold out everywhere online. I get on the phone with customer service and they tell me the only pair in a size 7.5 that’s available is 3 hours away, but they can’t ship directly from the store. So I call the store, they tell me they can hold these shoes for me for 24 hours. So then, I cancel all my appointments that day, I get in my car and I drive 3 hours to get these shoes.

Now, I may have done something similar a year ago, but that’s beside the point.

Although a ridiculous example, it demonstrates the power behind a strong desire– and the lengths we’ll go for something that we really want. You hear all the time, people camping outside of Best buy to get the new video game, or iPhone or a pair of sneakers– I read an article that said somebody waited outside for 4 days for a pair of Yeezy’s. Like OMG…you could not pay me to do that. How does somebody go to the bathroom? I don’t get it.

This is the level of desire and dedication that I’m talking about.

There are a lot of people that want the newest gadget or sneakers, but they don’t want them as badly as the people camping out for days, right?

Guys, it’s the same way on a larger-scale. The people that are uber successful, are people who wanted it so badly that they were willing to do whatever it took to get there. They were willing to do the things that other people were not willing to do.

So it’s not enough to just have a goal. Your success rate is dependent on how badly you want to achieve this goal…first and foremost.

And a really powerful way to get to that place of deep hunger is to use your imagination. To visualize yourself having already achieved your goal. To visualize yourself 50 pounds lighter, to visualize yourself in the corner office or wearing those sneakers on the day they’re released, if that’s important to you. Because when you get to that place in your mind, you feel all the amazing feelings even without the external reward. Our minds don’t know the difference if we’re experiencing something in real time or in our imagination. And those high intensity vibes (or vibrations) that you get from visualizing the achievement of your goal, is the fuel that gets you pumped and keeps you going.

You need this fuel. Because obstacles are inevitable along the way. You will experience setbacks. And that’s when you gotta revisit your vision. You want to revisit it over and over and over again and let it continuously feed your hunger so that you don’t give up.

Now what about if you just can’t seem to get to that place of strong desire– you have your handy dandy goal, yet your still not drooling over it.

Then what that means, is one of two things…the first, is that your goal may not be coming through your essential self (or intuition).

In other words, your goal might be coming from an egoic place. For example, maybe you have this business idea, but the reason you want to pursue it is because you think it’s going to make a bunch of money. However, the business idea doesn’t light you up whatsoever. It doesn’t spark any joy.

External rewards are not sustainable you guys. That’s why people get to a point in their high paying jobs, where they like the money doesn’t even matter anymore, I’m so unhappy. I’m so unfulfilled.

When we choose goal from an egoic place, the journey in achieving it feels icky and it feels really hard.

It’s definitely something to pay attention to. In that case, you want to back track and connect to your intuition and figure out what you really, really want– from a clean, joyful place. A goal that completely lights you up and intrinsically motivates and inspires you..

Now, if your goal is coming from a place of love and joy, and your still experiencing some resistance, you most likely have a lot of limiting beliefs and fears getting in the way. You might be letting your mind get the best of you and talk you out of the deep hunger for this goal. In that case, you’d want to do the necessary heavy lifting of learning how to manage your mind and then actually managing it.

If you remember at the start of this episode, I said that this simple formula cuts through the muddle. Well, my friends the muddle that I speak of is our messy thinking. So we are going to bypass that right now.

I want to move on to the second (and last) critical ingredient for success because I want to illustrate how the two work hand in hand. You really can’t achieve a goal without one or the other.

The second ingredient for success is to have a strong belief– a strong belief in your ability to achieve your strong desire. Without this backup, it is 100% impossible for us to achieve what we set out to do.

I want to share a personal example with you. And I’ve shared this story briefly in the past through I think a social media post and maybe one of my videos. But I really want to share it here today. It’s by far my favorite personal success story when I was growing up because it illustrates this simple formula so beautifully.

When I was 14 years old, it was the year 2000…a long time ago my friends. It was the year that Britney Spears and boy bands and pop music were all the rage. And from the deep core of my essential self, I had this desire to take dance classes. And because it’s something I really wanted to do (it was a deep, strong yearning), I flipped through the yellow pages and enrolled at a studio outside of the town that I went to school in. So I didn’t know anybody going in.

And I’ll never forget the first day, I was completely out of my comfort zone (which is inevitable when our intuition takes charge), and I was so nervous. A part of me wanted to call my dad and say just come back, like I can’t do this.

All the other girls knew each other. They had been dancing since they were toddlers and had these strong friendships, and dance skills. I was brand new at 14…like my inner critic was like “girl you are too old to be starting this now.”

But I mustered up the courage to stay another minute and another minute and another minute, because I knew I really wanted to do this. And I knew I had be comfortable with being uncomfortable to get through the first day and even the second day and the week after, facing my fears head on.

Well after just 1 year of hard work of pushing myself, I was competing at the senior level and by year 2, I was in 14 different classes. And at the end of the year, we had our annual recital. And each year at the show, my dance teacher awards one dancer out of hundreds with the Excellence Award. It was this giant trophy given to one dancer who stood out to her that year– for their dedication, and talent, and so forth.

She calls up the winner of this big trophy. And I remember sitting there on the stage watching this happen, and thinking I wanted that to be. That could be me. Like why not me? That could happen. It’s possible.

And in that moment, I decided that I wanted that trophy more than anything I’ve ever wanted before. I decided that I was going to get that trophy the upcoming year.

So here was my deep, strong desire…one that was 100% formed through my essential self.

It was not from an egoic place. I didn’t want that trophy so I looked cool and had bragging rights.

I wanted that trophy for me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this, even with all the odds stacked against me. Here I was my third year in ultimately competing against 400 or so experienced dancers.

I kept this goal completely to myself. I didn’t tell anybody what my intention was– not my family, not my dance friends, not my best friends at school. Nobody.

I just clung onto my vision. I imagined being on the stage at the recital and my name being called. I could see it in my mind’s eye, I could feel it and taste it. I became the person who had already won the award.

And because I stepped into this new identity (I AM the winner), I took massive inspired action. Every week, I showed up to every one of my 14 classes. I practiced at home. I gave 110% in the studio. I worked my little butt off, but I was loving every second of it. I was loving the challenge, because it was from intuition.

Now did self-doubt creep in? Of course!

But I didn’t care.

I was so dedicated and committed…that the belief in myself triumphed any fear. I was not in the business to buy into anything my inner critic was throwing my way. Even when it was saying things like…

There’s no way that you can get this award your third year in. This is impossible. Who do you think you are? The odds are completely against you.  

I did NOT care.

Even when I had an off day. Even when I was screwing up and couldn’t get a move right away. Even when I was standing next to somebody who was clearly more skilled than I was.

I never made those moments mean anything. I never made those moments mean that I wasn’t deserving or worthy. I just kept going. Like there was no drama in my head.

I was like “Listen head, this is what I’m doing and nobody can stop me from at least trying.”

And this is where the majority of people get tripped up. This is where the majority of people get caught up in the messiness of their thoughts and stories around what it is that they desire.

They get so consumed with their inner dialogue, that they give up. They’re like yea I really want this thing, BUT…and then there’s the list of reasons (and excuses) of why it can’t happen for them.

Anyway long story short, as you probably have already guessed, I was awarded the Excellence Trophy that year. Not only is it a day that I will never forget, but the experience in its entirety and my 4 years at that studio, will go down in history as one of my personal best…for a couple of reasons…

  1. It was my first BIG benchmark of my adolescence–if I could do that, I can do anything. It taught me that with having a strong desire and a strong belief, that anything is possible.

It’s also a reminder how beautiful our life’s journey can be when we listen to our intuition and we honor it. When we pay attention to what feels like joy and we follow it. And we keep following it, even if it’s scary, even when it takes us through uncertainty and unfamiliar places.

I not only grew and evolved so much in those four years, but to this day, I have the most amazing friendships that came out of it. They’re like family to me. And I think back and I say WOW, like if I had let fear get the best of me, I would’ve called my dad to turn around and I would’ve never stepped foot into my first class. I would’ve never met those girls who are now like family to me. I wouldn’t have danced those four years, something that brought me so much joy. And then of course, I would’ve never accomplished such a grand goal and wouldn’t have realized my potential.

And also what I love about this experience, is that from start to finish it was all intuitively me, everything came from within. My desire to dance, the goal I set for myself, my willingness to push myself…it was all me. And it all came from listening to my intuition. My parents did not push me to do this activity and push me to do more and be more, because of their agenda and that they may have wanted for me.

It was ALL me. 

Now as a coach, I have my clients (and even potential clients) send me a list of their goals prior to working together. And I get so many people on the phone who have these goals, yet they’re lacking the intensity behind their goals because of the self-doubt. Because they’re consumed all the nonsense and self-limiting beliefs going on in their mind.

I see it all the time. And it’s such a shame. Because when we learn to cut out all that drama and just connect to what we want and commit to the belief that it’s going to happen, that’s where the magic is.

And when I look back to my 14-year old self, I see a young girl who was so strong and was so quick to just decide (with a snap of the fingers), this is what I want and I’m going to do it, no matter what it takes because I can.

It’s truly as simple as that.

As we wrap things up here, remember that you are capable of achieving the goals that are important to you. All you need is that fire in your belly and the conviction in yourself to see it through. You don’t ever need somebody else telling what you should go after or somebody else telling you what you’re capable of. That’s your job.

The only permission you need to go after what YOU want and to achieve it is your own. Consider that permission granted.

Thank you so much for listening as always. I’ll see you next time.

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