How to know when to quit a relationship, a job, a living situation or your YouTube channel that has 3 subscribers can be tricky. It’s like having one general in our mind that’s saying “FIRE” while the other is screaming, “Hold Your Fire!”
Talk about a CONFUSE-FEST.
I want to help you know when to “pull the trigger” on an area of your life that’s raising some doubt and uncertainty. Read through the following points to gain clarity on what your next move is:
To some people, the word “quit” or “quitter” can have a negative connotation. If that’s you, find a new word or phrase!
If you were brought up to “never be a quitter” or believe “quitters never win,” the proposition of quitting seems to be “off the table” for you.
Don’t allow yourself to feel powerless and stuck in your circumstances because you’re afraid of being labeled a quitter. (TWEET THAT)
When I was a kid, I jumped from one extra-curricular activity to another on a regular basis. My parents never scolded me for this approach. In fact, I now look back and commend myself (and my parents) for allowing me to try out new things until I found the one or two that “fit.” In my opinion, there’s no shame in this whatsoever, but I do understand the opposite perspective as well.
If the word “quit” feels t0o heavy, please use the phrase “move on.” Has a different ring to it, doesn’t it?
Remove outside opinions + judgements from the equation.
Nobody can possibly know what’s best for you, so stop listening to them! I am all for asking a close friend (and by that I mean my mom) for their opinion and advice. However, the intention is not to make a decision from the place of an outsider, but rather open your mind to a new way of thinking about something that you may have missed otherwise. Then, you’re in the position to take all the information you’ve gathered into account when it’s time to make that decision.
Let it all out.
(Calling all outsiders again).
Vent to a friend about your workplace frustrations. Unravel your relationship thoughts with a coach. Bitch about your roommate’s messy habits to your goldfish. Just let it out.
When something isn’t working out at smoothly as we’d like it to, chances are we’re letting our feelings of confusion, frustration and doubt brew inside. Get together with someone who will listen and talk about what’s on your mind.
Does something feel off? Pinpoint what it is.
If you’re reading this, then my guess is yes, something feels off. Now, it’s time to get clearer. For example, if you know something feels off in your job, pinpoint what exactly it is about your job. Is it the actual work and tasks that you’re doing? Is it the environment you work in? Your co-workers? Your hours? Your salary?
Sure, sometimes we end up leaving a job all together, but other times, it’s a small shift that can be made instead. Maybe your boss allows you to work from home two days a week or finally agrees to give you that raise. But, you can’t make shifts unless you know specifically what needs to change.
Get clear on what you want. Does your current reality reflect your deepest desires?
This is your one life, so decide how you really want to live it. What are you willing to settle for (if anything) and what are you willing to go after? Once again, there may just be some tweaking with your present situation or you may need an entire “facelift,” but you won’t know until you start asking yourself the right questions.
If you quit, would you regret your decision 5 years from now? If you don’t quit, would you regret your decision 5 years from now?
I love the power of these questions. It’s SO easy to get paralyzed by fear, but when we take a gander on the other side- regret – it’s a whole new playing field. Go ahead, ask yourself. What comes up for you? Are you surprised by your response?
You may know that quitting is the best thing for you, but it’s not the best thing right now. Be OK with that.
Timing is everything. In fact when we start telling ourselves, “I’m going to stick this out for as long as I can,” we gain internal clarity about what we really want and if/ when we want to leave.
If you know that you’ve outgrown your situation, take comfort in that knowing. Maybe making the jump right now is not the best idea, but making a proper plan is.
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