1. What needs to change?
Take an honest look at your life and pinpoint what’s not working. List all the different areas (job, relationship, friendships, living situation, etc.) and for each category, ask yourself “What needs to change?” This activity is not meant to convince you to make drastic changes right at this very moment, but rather get you to WAKE UP. Admitting you have a “problem” is after all the first step to making a change.
2. What do I know for sure?
Up until this point, what information have you gathered from your life experiences that you can take with you moving forward? What are your negotiables and non-negotiables? Are you willing to work for another non-profit in the future, but don’t want to work weekends? Do you know for sure that you work best by yourself and don’t enjoy working in teams? Set a 5 -10 minute timer, place the title “What Do I Know for Sure” at the top of a piece of paper and keep writing, no matter what comes to mind.
3. What do I want to change about myself to become the best version of me?
This was one of the best questions I ever asked myself! For me, I knew in order to become a better person. I wanted to discover my calling and utilize my potential, become a better listener, start giving back more to family, friends and the world and to choose peace in the midst of drama. Again, this is about taking an honest look, but this time, turning the magnifying glass toward yourself rather than your external circumstances. Be compassionate and give yourself a pat on the back for locating personal “flaws.” It’s really just a sign of maturity and growth.
4. What do I value?
What is most important to you and why? Is it your creativity, freedom, family, status, meaning or peace? Use the following list to get the wheels turning: http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm. Choose your top 5 values. Look at your list. Expand on each value that you chose. For example, do you value the freedom to create your own hours or the freedom to express your own ideas? Does you current reality match up to your list? How can you add more of what’s important to you right now?
5. What am I still holding on to that I must let go of?
Think about anything from your past that you’ve buried down deep. In order to create the space for new things to come into your life, you must let go of the old. Tell a close friend or coach what you’ve been keeping inside, write a journal entry and burn it up or rewrite the icky stories you’ve been holding onto.
6. What inspires me?
Think about the one person you look up to. Or maybe it’s a book, a movie or even a song. Regardless of what inspires you, what is it about that person or thing that you admire? This will give you tons of insight about yourself. It’s very telling of the person you want to become.
7. What are my unique personality traits and characteristics?
This is the time to start exploring who you are, what you’re good at and what makes you you! These are things that you were born with- the true essence of who you are. It’s what makes you stand out from everybody else. I encourage you to get deeper with each realization. For example, I consider myself very likeable- a wonderful trait to possess if I do say so myself. I can dig deeper and say, “OK, there are a ton of people who are likeable, what makes me so likeable?” This allows me to get to know myself even more. If you’re feeling stuck, ask a few close friends how they view you. What do they perceive as some of your unique traits? If you’re in a current relationship, what does your significant other love about you?
8. What are my skills, hobbies and talents?
Skills are abilities you’ve learned over time, not something you were born with. Reflect back and point out which skills you’re not only good at, but also the ones you enjoy. For me, one of my skills is public speaking. Definitely not something I was born with, but rather something I learned in school and realized I had a deep passion for. Reflect on your education, upbringing and any extra-curricular activities. Don’t worry about separating each one into its proper category (skills, hobbies, talents). The most important thing is that you start to jot them down. Place a big ole star next to the ones you could see yourself utilizing in your dream career!
9. What am I currently believing?
I know this can feel like a loaded question at first. However, the truth is, if you want to know why you don’t have what you want, why you don’t have everything figured out or why you keep ending up in the wrong jobs, just look at what you’re believing. OUR BELIEFS DRIVE OUR ACTIONS. For example, if you believe, “Money is hard to find,” it’ll explain why you’ve always had money troubles. Your current reality is a direct reflection of what’s going on in your mind. What do you believe about other people and the world in general? Identify what beliefs have made up your personal manual all of these years. Take a hard look. Are these beliefs serving you or are they sending you in the wrong direction?
10. What do I want to believe on purpose?
The beauty of our personal manuals is that we always have the choice to rewrite them. We get to decide what we make things mean and what we believe about everything! My goal for you and all my clients is to create better feeling beliefs that drive you in the direction of everything you want. If you believe that your capable of creating the life of you dreams (if you really believe that) then you will! If you believe your current reality is all there is, you’ll stand still. Choosing powerful beliefs is personal. What works for me, may not work for you. Choose beliefs that FEEL good. What beliefs or mantras feel good for you? Write them down. Say them over and over again. Seek evidence to prove them true.
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