Why Pretending to Be Happy Keeps You Stuck

January 22, 2015 | Written with Love By: Shaina Leis

Sometimes the truth isn’t lovely. Whether we’re in a crappy relationship or lousy job, it can sometimes feel easier to pretend that our situations are just fine instead of digging up the foundation we’ve so steadily built upon. But putting on a happy face in the midst of an undesirable situation is not healthy for anyone.

Getting honest with ourselves about something that is not working is TOUGH. Why? Because once we step out of the illusion we’ve been living behind, there’s no more hiding. The truth will stalk you like a crazy ex.

You’ll finally have to face the problem head on and actually deal with it.

For example, you come to terms with your unhealthy relationship and realize it’s time to leave. Or for the first time, you see your job for what it really is and realize you aren’t living up to your full potential.

Facing the truth comes with making changes. Leaving an 8-year relationship seems scary or leaving a steady job with benefits seems crazy, but living against what we know to be true will be the ghost that haunts us- now that’s terrifying!

The truth may not always be delightful (or convenient for that matter) but it will FREE us.

If something doesn’t feel right, ask yourself the right questions to gain a better understanding of WHY you are where you are. You’ll come to see that with every illusion comes fear:

I’m afraid to be alone.
I’m afraid I won’t find another job.
I’m afraid of what people will think.
I’m afraid of what’s to come.
I’m afraid I’m not good enough to find anything better.

And so on…

These thoughts keep us stuck. These lies keep us swimming in our own bath of self-deception. Then, we wonder why we are so unfulfilled and unhappy.

Choose to clear space. When we remove what’s no longer working, we make room for something better and more fulfilling to come into our lives.

What area of your life doesn’t feel right? Where are you pretending to be happy? I encourage you to shine a light on it once and for all. This is the agent to change. It may be hard at first, but that’s OK because we can do hard things.

Life is too short to hold onto something that doesn’t inspire you everyday. Make choices based on what feels like freedom and you’ll win every time.

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