How to Deal with Betrayal

July 12, 2017 | Written with Love By: Shaina Leis

 

Have you ever been cheated on?

Lied too?

Have you ever confided in a friend who broke your trust?

Betrayal. It’s a heavy topic (and painful).

After all, there’s a reason we use the metaphor, “stabbed in the back!”

But all the more reason why it’s so important to know how to get through such an experience. With that being said…

To WATCH, “How to Deal with Betrayal,” click the image below:

xo,

Shaina

Transcript
Hey guys, Happy Wednesday. It’s Shaina, bringing you another video on the channel where you learn, laugh and get inspired all at the same time. Today, we’re talking about betrayal, a heavier topic, but an important one to know how to deal with. Because knives in your back, that’s pretty painful. Maybe you were lied to by your significant other, maybe you put your trust into a “good” friend who broke that trust…whatever the situation, we want to stop that self-suffering. The betrayee may or may not be remorseful, but that’s not your concern. Your concern is YOU and healing from it. So let’s jump in and start pulling those knives out- one by one. 1. Let yourself FEEL. Feel through the emotions- whether it be anger, sadness, disappointment, it’s the first step to getting through the betrayal. Most likely it’ll be a rollercoaster of emotions, but that’s OK, just ride it with your hands up. 2. Don’t fire back. When we’re betrayed, our first instinct is to attack. I’m going to scream at you and then I’m going to get revenge and I’m going to make sure that you suffer forever and ever and ever. It’s not your job to teach them a lesson. Stay in your business…for the sake of your sanity and so that you don’t end up in jail. 3. What needs to be done to protect yourself and move forward in a more positive way. Do boundaries need to be set? Ya know take a good hard look at the situation and decide what action needs to be taken from a practical standpoint. 4. What’s the lesson? It’s through these really difficult times in life that we grow. We say, “OK, this happened, it sucks that it happened, but what did I learn from this that I will never fall victim to again?” For example, years and years ago, I had an ex-boyfriend that was cheating on me with everybody and their cat. And it was by far the worst betrayal I had ever experienced. However, I not only owned up to my own role in that betrayal and how I ignored major red flags and put up with way more than I should have or what I deserved, but I also took that experience and learned from it. I knew that I never wanted to be that naïve girl again. And from that day forward, I decided what I deserved and what I didn’t in a relationship. If you come out alive, there’s always a silver lining. 6. Come from a place of love + understanding. The person that’s betrayed you is hurting some way somehow. Their behavior was a result of what’s going on in their mind. It has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them. So if their actions weren’t kind, maybe even cruel, than you can be sure that there’s suffering, mentally. And once you can do that, you can eventually… 7. Forgive. You don’t have to agree with what they did or condone it, but just try to look at it through a different lens of, “OH, OK, they’re not well.” You can then let go and release them to a higher power to do it’s a thing. Also, forgive yourself. Don’t let your inner critic convince you that you were a fool or an idiot for falling pray to them, again it was just another life lesson being thrown your way. And lastly, once you’ve healed completely, 8. Open your heart. That’s it for today guys. If you like what you see, LIKE this video down below. Subscribe if you haven’t already and get on my email list to become one of my VIP members. The link to do so is underneath this video. I’ll see you next week. Bye.

WELCOME!

Hi there! I'm Shaina Leis- founder of this inspirational space :) I'm a Certified Life Coach with a passion for helping young adults better themselves and their lives. In this blog, you'll find general advice, career guidance and so much more. Have fun!

FOLLOW ME