Have you ever chalked up your success to “luck,” when you actually worked really hard?
Do you find it difficult to receive praise?
Do you fear that people will “find out” and expose you for who you really are…a fraud?
I caught myself struggling with this a few weeks back at a friends house, which is why I’m thrilled that Sarah, a fellow viewer, reached out for advice on the topic.
Here’s the irony. I immediately thought, “I don’t think I’m qualified to answer this question. They’re going to see right through me.”
Yup, there it is again…the imposter syndrome (It’s more common than you think).
So, in today’s Q&A video, I break down the fear of being “exposed” and how to overcome it.
To WATCH, “How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome,” click the image below.
Have a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving (for those of you whom celebrate)!
p.s. If you haven’t snagged your FREE gift yet, CLICK HERE!
with gratitude and much love,
Hey guys, welcome back. I’m Shaina, if this is your first time here. If you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel but want to better yourself and your life and create an awesome future, you can do that by clicking the red button!
Today, we are continuing our Q&A segment with a question from Sarah. Let’s go.
“Hi Shaina, Impostor syndrome constantly gets in the way of pursuing my dreams. It is currently keeping me from applying to the job of my dreams – one that I am qualified for. The anxiety is so paralyzing, it’s preventing me from submitting my resume. I constantly undermine my abilities or discount my achievements. It almost kept me from applying to grad school and, once I was in, I continuously felt like I was not supposed to be there and I had not “earned” my place. The self-doubt is really limiting me. Help!Sarah.”
Sarah, thank you for question.
First of all, for those of you not familiar with the exact definition of imposter syndrome. It’s when you struggle to internalize your accomplishments despite evidence that proves you’re more than competent.
It’s when you convince yourself that you’re a “fraud” and that people will figure that out if you put yourself and your work out into the world. It’s when you feel like you don’t deserve the success you achieve.
Second of all, I just want to say, isn’t it funny how sometimes the things we need the most just show up? People will comment sometimes and be like, “Ahh this is exactly what I needed to hear today.” And I say that because this is something that I too struggle with from time to time.
And ironically, after reading your question Sarah, I thought, “Hmmm, maybe I’m not qualified to answer this.” That’s my imposter syndrome coming through. Even though I know very well that I’m more than qualified being a life coach and having the tools to solve any internal obstacle. Which brings me to my first point…
1. You are not alone, girl!
Even some of the most successful entrepreneurs and renowned authors and whoever struggle with this. It’s just that people don’t really talk about it. They just internalize it. It’s some weird psychological screw that needs to be tightened a little bit in many of us, which transitions into my second point…
2. Remind yourself that it isn’t real.
And what I mean by that is sometimes knowing, just reminding yourself (when you catch yourself in that paralyzing state) that this fear of being “exposed” isn’t real, can loosen the grip it has over you.
It’s about creating that distinction between “OK, I (the real me) is more than qualified, which you consciously know,” from, “Oh, that’s just my inner critic trying to scare the pants off of me.” This can be a game changer.
You don’t want to try to resist it, because what we resist persists, but rather acknowledge it and look at it for what it is- a fear…and not get lost or consumed by it.
3. Recognize the vicious cycle to motivate you to stop once and for all!
If I have a fear of being “found out,” how do I feel? I feel nervous, hesitant, paralyzed…and what do I (or don’t do) when I feel that way? I don’t apply to my dream job. And when I don’t apply or take action toward my dream job, what happens? You’re qualifications begin to shrink because you aren’t actively using your skills and talents.
Notice this cycle and how it’s taking you farther from where you want to go. Stop it in its tracks!
4. Keep track of your WINS!
When your inner critic is shouting at you that you’re not good enough, be like, “Oh yea,” and pull out your list. Show it who’s boss.
I keep a proud jar, where I’ll write down each of my accomplishments with a date and throw them in the jar. So whenever I need a little confidence boost, I read my little notes.
There are of course other ways to keep track of your wins, but the point is to worry less, celebrate more.
5. Be aware of the standards + benchmarks you’re setting for yourself.
This is the biggest trap I fall into. I’m always thinking, “Well, once I gain 100,000 subscribers THEN I can confidently talk about what I do to other people. But until then…
Or I can’t feel worthy of this until BLANK.”
But the truth is, even if/ when you achieve those things, that inner demon is not just going to go away.
You want to come to the NOW! Fix your posture, and confidently say, NO, I am SO good at what I do and I’m going to be proud of it. And again, use existing evidence to prove this true right now!!
That’s it for today guys. Thank you to Sarah again for the question. Remember to subscribe if you haven’t, LIKE this video and I’ll see you next week! Bye.
Hi there! I'm Shaina Leis- founder of this inspirational space :) I'm a Certified Life Coach with a passion for helping young adults better themselves and their lives. In this blog, you'll find general advice, career guidance and so much more. Have fun!