How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

March 8, 2017 | Written with Love By: Shaina Leis

So if you missed last week’s video, well what the heck???

Just kidding : )

Last week, I did a video titled, “How to Stop Everyday Jealousy & Envy,” and I was so happy to hear from a few of you that it was “exactly what you needed to hear.”

Well today, you’re getting the “sister” video.

One of my favorite phrases that I learned in coach training was this:


Meaning? The act of comparing what we have (or don’t have) to that of somebody else and then feeling down about it afterwards.

We all do it, so let’s fix it!

To WATCH, “How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People,” click the image below.

with gratitude and much love,



Hey guys, Happy Wednesday…I hope you all had a great week. If this is the first video on my channel that you’re watching, I’m Shaina Leis. Happy to have you.

Today, I am piggybacking on my last video, “How to Stop Everyday Jealousy & Envy.” If you missed that, I will link it down below. Right now, I’m talking about “How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People.”


It’s time to put your measuring stick away, sort of.

We’re gonna play around with the stick for a second. (Oooooooh sound effect)

Let’s start with its FLAWS. First and foremost, we tend to compare our internal state with somebody’s external state.

What I mean by that is…let’s say I’m feeling kinda down, in a rut, maybe a little insecure, I go on Facebook and I see that Lucy from College posted a picture of her and her boyfriend pumpkin picking.

Why God, why?

They’re so happy. She has everything (a guy, a perfectly round pumpkin) and I, I have nothing.

This is what I mean by comparing our internal to others’ external. Maybe Lucy is really genuinely happy, in that case, go Lucy, but the truth is none of us are perfect, our lives aren’t perfect, we all struggle. But it’s easy to convince ourselves otherwise by what we see.

Sometimes a picture is not worth a thousand words. Sometimes it’s just a picture.

On another note, sometimes our measuring sticks are just plain inaccurate. I mean how is it logical for me, an introvert- someone who enjoys spending time alone- to compare myself to this outgoing, social butterfly on Instagram? That’s not who I am, so why am I so upset about not being that person?

My biggest advice here is to take that measuring stick of yours, and stick it up your (just kidding)

Instead of holding it up to other people, measure yourself. Redirect the comparison to your PAST and PRESENT self.

Look back and realize how far you’ve come. How have you improved your life? How have you bettered yourself? What are your WINS? What negative habits have you stopped?
This is a much healthier (and accurate) form of competition and it’s a fantastic way to grow, evolve and become a better version of yourself. After all, that’s what we’re all here to do…in the world and on this channel.

My next tip is to support other people- in their successes, their differences, similarities and so forth + I mentioned this in the last video.

Just because somebody has something that you don’t, doesn’t mean they’re better than you or whatever story you’re telling yourself. That’s your own crap that you need to work through.

Instead, practice being on the same team and ROOTING for them.

“Hey girl, congrats on landing your dream job, I’m so happy for you and so inspired to discover my dream job after hearing your story. Oh and congrats on the guy and the pumpkin.”

Now of course you want to be genuine in what you say.

When you start to feel yourself falling into compare and despair, ask yourself, “What is this teaching me about myself?” Why am I so flustered over this? Why do I want what that person has?

There’s a lot of valuable information in this so do some digging and use that self-reflective information to take positive action to better yourself and your future.

That’s it for today my friends. As always, thank you so much for watching. If you found this video helpful, please LIKE it down below and remember to SUBSCRIBE to my channel for a new, FREE video every Wednesday. Bye!


Hi there! I'm Shaina Leis- founder of this inspirational space :) I'm a Certified Life Coach with a passion for helping young adults better themselves and their lives. In this blog, you'll find general advice, career guidance and so much more. Have fun!