SQUAD GOALS! Establishing True Friendships

October 21, 2015 | Written with Love By: Shaina Leis

The term “squad goals,” made so famous by Taylor Swift, is now the title of a new sitcom in the works for 20-somethings.

Ohhhhhh Hollywood!

We are not only pressured to look a certain way individually, but now many of us are striving to mold our group of friends to fit the cool, trendy look of young celebs today.

Getting that perfect selfie of your squad may feel satisfying in the moment, but a true, genuine friendship provides long-term fulfillment.

(but heyyyyy if you have both…JACKPOT : )

I’ve had my share of ups and downs in this area, but I’ve learned A LOT along the way…as I’m sure YOU have too. It’s worth taking the time to reflect on your own experience- what you value in the friendship department and how you can become a better friend yourself.

In this week’s FUN video, I give my 5 quick ways to identify a real friend based on my personal experience. Click below for “SQUAD GOALS: Establishing a Group of True Friends.”

p.s. Thank you to my friends for being a part of this video. It was so much fun to make!

Have a great week : )

With gratitude and much love,



SquadGoal: An aspirational term for what you’d like your group of friends to be or

Now according to my research, in order to join Taylor Swift’s squad I must meet the following criteria:

Be a singer, actress and / or model. Ha, CHECK!

I must drink wine- Ohhhh I’ve got that one down pact! (at least 5 nights a week)
I must love to bake…. hello, just call me Martha Stewart
I need to talk about boys! I am SOOOOO in!!


Hello- my viewers. If you don’t know me, I’m Shaina. Welcome, welcome, welcome to my channel.

So I have yet to be initiated into the T Swift gang, but that’s OK. Because I got my own crew, one that Taylor’s got nothing on- we tight and we hit da streets together (and we’re kinda like models).

So today, I’m talking about-à How to identify and ultimately establish a group of true friends.

I’ve definitely had my ups and downs in this department, I’ve lost some friends over the years, I’ve gained some new ones and I have friendships that have stood the test of time.

But through it all I’ve learned a lot– like how to be a better friend myself and what I value in a real, genuine friendship.

Today I want to share with you 5 QUICK ways that I identify a real friend (and really how I determine who I invest my time and energy in).

I’m not talking mean girl status here OK, I’m not going to tell you you can’t sit at my table. You just can’t hang out with me. Just kidding.

1.) Someone that you can be 100% yourself with… And never feel judged or ridiculed for it. There’s nothing worst than a “friend” who constantly puts you down. I think one of the major benefits of friendship is that it’s a safe place so to speak to open up and be your authentic self. So if you feel as though your walking on egg shells around somebody, it’s time to reevaluate. You should never feel unsupported or unloved.

2.) Someone you can pick up with right where you left off. This is one of my favorite types of friendships. It’s like you have this super special bond/ connection and no matter how much time has passed since you’ve seen them or even talked, you just pick up exactly where you left off and it’s like nothing has changed. And there’s no guilt involved. I don’t give them a hard time for not reaching out often and vice versa. We’re all busy and we all get it. Zero drama.

3.) Somebody you laugh with…a lot. (show image of us on stairs) I think of friends and laughter as almost synonymous. When I think about my good friends, they’re the ones that I can be silly with and almost childlike with. I’ve been around people who will say things like “you’re so weird.” That’s just a sign to me that those people are much more uptight and serious than I am- and I know right away that they’re just not my people.

4.) Somebody who’s there in the hardest of times. When my dad died, it was the people who showed up for me even when I didn’t ask them too. It’s that deep sense of care and love that you share with someone else that is very present in tough times. Think back to when you were going through something difficult, who was there for you?

5.) Somebody who takes interest in you and your life. When I was in college. I had about 20 plus great friends. But back then, a great friend was someone to take shots with and stay out with until 4am.
Now, I do think everybody should have a friend like that in his or her life! But, also a relationship that has substance to it- where both parties take an invested interest in the other- because that’s what’s going to make it long lasting.

You’ve obviously had your own unique experience in this area, so it’s important define what a true friend looks like to you and to establish any goals YOU may have for your friendships, old and new so that your relationships are strong, meaningful and long lasting.

Thanks so much for watching. If you like what you see, give this video a big ole thumbs up…right below. And hit the subscribe button for a new video every Wednesday at 10am PT. Have a great week. See ya!!


Hi there! I'm Shaina Leis- founder of this inspirational space :) I'm a Certified Life Coach with a passion for helping young adults better themselves and their lives. In this blog, you'll find general advice, career guidance and so much more. Have fun!