After last week’s video, “10 Signs You’re At The Wrong Job,” I anticipated the next question on peoples’ minds would be, “Now what? I can’t just quit my job!”
And I get it. If it were that easy, people would be dropping like flies.
I also get how frustrating it is to feel stuck- wanting to break free, but not seeing a way out based on your current circumstances.
It’s like you have 2 generals in your mind…one is saying, “Fire, fire (quit, quit),” and the other one is saying, “Whoa, whoa, hold your fire.” This triggers confusion and confusion causes you to remain stagnant.
What we need to do is to get those two “generals” working together, which is what I’m going to help you sort through today.
To watch, “What To Do When You Hate Your Job!” click the image below.
with gratitude and much love,
Hey guys, hope you had a great week. If you’re new here, I’m Shaina.
Last week I did a video on the 10 Signs You’re At the Wrong Job. If you missed it, I’ll link it down below.
Once I was finished editing that video, I realized well now, the question on peoples’ minds may be…OK, I hate my job, but now what?? I can’t just quit Shaina!
I hear you and I completely understand your concern.” I learned that from my customer service days. See guys, you do learn from bad jobs!
Anyway that’s what I’m going to discuss today…what to do right now if you hate your job!
I think anyone can agree that if quitting a job you hate was that easy, people would be dropping like flies.
It’s not easy to change course. And for some of us it’s very hard because of longer investments made or multiple responsibilities. But, no matter your circumstances, there’s always a way to get from where you are to where you want to go.
It may not be today, but let me help you make the most out of your job right now and show you how to get unstuck from your sticky job situation.
Start with “clarity through contrast.” One of the things that can keep us stuck is not knowing what to do next. In this case, a little bit of clarity can go a long way. I still remember the day I was on my lunch break, grabbed a piece of paper and listed all the things I not only hated about my job, but everything I knew I never wanted in a job moving forward.
By doing this, I was able to easily make a second list of all the things I did want. Things like: I wanted to be my own boss, freedom to do what I love, express my creativity, help people, to make my own schedule etc. I had no idea what all of this meant at the time, but the power of writing things down is incredible.
I found this list over 2.5 years ago and I was in Oprah magazine for my little story and how well my list matched up to what I do now.
(Yea Oprah and I are like BFF’s now).
Check in with yourself right now. Are you feeling empowered over your situation or defeated? This is huge. If you think “there’s no way out” then I guarantee you, you will not find one. If you believe there is, you will actively search for solutions. It’s so important to be in an empowering head space because that will take you where you want to go. The “I can’t,” mentality that will leave you stuck.
And I know you want to lash out at me and say, “No I actually can’t ever get out. I have bills to pay and mouths to feed.”
First let me say take a breath. Second, I’m not saying quit right now, in fact I would never tell you what to do because I don’t know what’s best for you. I’m just here to help you figure that out for yourself. So back off.
And third, you may have extra responsibilities and it may be very hard, but that’s OK because you can do hard things.
Even if you can’t see your way out, that’s OK, all you need to do right now is to just believe that there is a way, some way, somehow to change course. Let this belief lead the way.
Identify the obstacles in the way of where you are and where you want to be. Because most of us have no problem listing reasons why we can’t do something, this should be a piece of cake for you.
Now when I went through it, some of my obstacles were my fear of what are people going to think if I quit, I don’t have a job lined up, How will I pay my bills? What about health insurance? What about the $80,000 I just spent for this degree?
Sidenote, pay attention to the story your telling yourself. We tend to believe the worst-case scenario…I’m going to lose everything and end up on the streets as a bag lady. If you’re buying into it, it’ll freak you out so much that you won’t ever take action to change.
Generate solutions to your obstacles. If after listing all the obstacles, your situation seems hopeless (so you think)…it’s time to get writing…yes more writing. People hate the parts of self-help that require taking action.
Take a big ole notebook and cover page to page, writing whatever comes to mind for each obstacle and how you can overcome it. You will be surprised at your own power, experience a shift in your thinking and a breakthrough in your stuck.
Some of the solutions I came up with that worked for my personal situation at the time were, OK, I can nanny (because I have lots of experience with kids) and the pay is pretty good, while figuring out what I’m passionate about, I’ll find a cheaper apartment in a new city, go on my parent’s health insurance and cut my losses with my degree because my well-being is more important to me than being in a field I don’t love.
When you believe there is a way out, you will find one. (sound effect, slow motion)
What do you value? The best decisions for ourselves are usually based on what we value most. For example, I got to a point where I woke up one morning, called my boss and just quit. Because I realized I valued my freedom way more than anything else…even money. And my gut was telling me that. I trusted it, took a leap of faith and landed on my feet.
You may value financial stability- and the comfort of a paycheck over freedom, so staying for now, may work best for you. People who value personal growth may choose to leave while people who value job security may choose to stay.
There are the people who jump without a parachute and those who prefer to have a few extras- neither is right or wrong, but which one are you?
Stay in your current job as long as you can. This is what I did until I physically, emotionally, mentally couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. And for you parachute people who need to prepare, make plans, save, line some things up, time is your friend. And (the interesting part of this) is when you start thinking: “I will stick this out as long as I can,” you actually gain more clarity about whether you want to stay or go and for how long.
Change your “I have to” to “I choose to.” Saying “I can’t” no matter what you’re talking about leaves you feeling powerless. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to go to work, you don’t have to pay your rent. You choose those things because again, going back to my last point, you value having a roof over your head. Just by changing your verbiage from “I have to” to “I choose to” hands you back all of your power.
Better it! When you’re doing something you’d rather not, there are always ways to better it until you can bag it altogether. How can you better your job situation right now? Maybe it’s something as big as cutting your hours down or asking your boss to work from home 1 day a week OR it could be as small as rewarding yourself at the end of the week with a night out for finishing the work week or listening to your favorite music while working.
Explore the gray area. A lot of us view this topic as very black and white, we can either quit or we can’t and we go about our days.
Just because it may not be practical to make a drastic change right now, does not mean you can’t take small steps every single day. What are you doing while you’re at this job to prepare you for the next big thing? Are you saving so you can take a 6-month hiatus to find a career path you love? Are you writing a page a week of that book you’ve always wanted to write?
Get out of your head and take action.
That’s it for today’s guys, if you found this video helpful, give it a thumbs up, subscribe to my channel if you haven’t already. I’ll see you next week! Bye
Hi there! I'm Shaina Leis- founder of this inspirational space :) I'm a Certified Life Coach with a passion for helping young adults better themselves and their lives. In this blog, you'll find general advice, career guidance and so much more. Have fun!